Don’t buy into the myth that divorce has to be a battle. It doesn’t. While there are high-stress, high-conflict divorces every day, there are also many chances for people to work things out in a simple, peaceful manner. Even if you’re unhappy that your spouse wants to end the marriage, you can see the value in approaching your divorce with this mindset.
One easy way to form this mindset is to let the marriage go and focus on the future. When the divorce turns bitter, people often focus on the past. They want to accomplish certain things out of spite for their ex. If you instead think about creating the best possible future for yourself, you alter your mindset into a more productive one that is less combative.
Another keynote is that, like the courts, you should put your children’s best interests first. If you’re a parent, this allows you to see what is really important and you can put your energy into working with your ex — not against them — to help your children thrive after the marriage ends. When you both have the same end goals, you tend to get along more easily.
Finally, try to keep any negative talk and opinions out of the divorce. These things feed into each other. It’s fine to feel frustrated, sad or even angry. Just do not let these emotions be the reason that you take certain actions or say certain things during the divorce.
Working through a divorce peacefully is possible. Be sure you know what options you have. Litigation is not always the best answer when a couple decides to split.